Ron Soderquist, an NLP-trained therapist in the Los Angeles area sent me this report:
The mother, Julie, called me and related: “Our Tommy is five years old and we are worried about him.”
“What does he do that worries you?”
“Whenever he spills milk at the table or makes any mistake, he gets out of his chair and bangs his head against the wall while saying, ‘You are stupid. You are dumb.’ ” I invited them to come in as a family.
It appeared that the parents were a normal couple. There were no red flags in their relationship with Tommy. Nor was there anything of note in Tommy’s body language. Julie reported her son enjoyed kindergarten and played well with friends. He had no other strange behaviors. However, Tommy would bang his head a few times a week on average. This behavior had been going on for at least several months.
I first considered recommending testing for autism. But in my experience, behaviors can often be addressed by simple, self-hypnotic suggestions. I looked directly into Tommy’s eyes, and began telling a story….
“Once upon a time there was a little boy squirrel named Timmy who felt bad because he couldn’t do anything right.” Tommy nodded his head. “When Timmy climbed trees with his friends he would slip and fall down.” Tommy nodded his head again. “When Timmy hid nuts he would forget where he hid them. He felt dumb.” Tommy nodded his head again. I embellished the story in great detail so Tommy would fully identify with Timmy the squirrel.
“Timmy the squirrel’s parents finally bring their little boy to visit the Wise Old Owl who lives in the big oak tree. Because owls have wonderful eyesight he saw them coming from afar, and said, ‘I see you are a squirrel family, how can I help you?’ Mommy and Daddy told the owl that Timmy banged his head against trees and called himself names when he made a mistake.
“The Wise Old Owl thought for a moment, and then he looked right at little Timmy and said, ‘Little Timmy the Squirrel, do you have a belly button? Let me see your belly button.’ At this command, Tommy pulled up his shirt and looked at his belly button.
“The Wise Old Owl continued, ‘Little Timmy, take a good look at your belly button because everyone who has a belly button makes mistakes. From now on, whenever you make a mistake, just look at your belly button and say, It’s OK. Everyone who has a belly button makes mistakes.’ ”
“Then I told him, ‘Now you and your Mommy and Daddy go home and enjoy being part of a loving family.’ ” At that, I ended the session.
Julie called the following week to report Tommy had stopped banging his head.
(Note from Steve. I’d like to point out the importance of the instruction to look at his belly button. If Ron had instead said something like, “Everyone makes mistakes,” it wouldn’t have had nearly as much impact, because it would be too vague and general, and it would not have a specific cue to trigger the thought. But by starting with the specific visual sight—or image—of his belly button, and then connecting the generalization to that, it made it much more concrete. Every time Tommy looks at his belly button, he will think of the instruction, “It’s OK. Everyone who has a belly button makes mistakes.”)
