With the concern about violence and anger often in the news today, the story below is particularly interesting. George Copsey, from Minnesota, sent us this account in a recent email; we think you will find it inspiring and informative.
—Connirae & Steve
From George…
A number of years ago, I was in charge of a spiritual studies program at the local state prison. I went in once a week to conduct Bible study, and also visited some of the inmates one-on-one, to assist with their spiritual growth. That’s how I met Erick,* a tall slender young man with sharp penetrating eyes and jet black hair, who somehow always managed to have a fashionable 2-day beard. As a teenager Erick had participated in a particularly vicious murder that made national headlines. You could google it if I gave you a few keywords.
Erick quickly understood what we were teaching in the Bible study classes, and I had already seen some changes in his conduct and attitude. He had a sharp mind and was a very quick learner. But Erick had an interesting tendency to apply what he learned to everyone else, not himself.
One day, as he walked into the visiting room to see me, I immediately knew something was wrong. His entire demeanor was different from the Erick I had seen thus far — his jaw was clenched, his brow furrowed with a frown so intense it seemed etched into his face. His arm muscles were tense, his hands in fists. If he were a cartoon character he would have had a black cloud over his head. I could almost hear his internal muttering.
“Erick, what’s going on?” I asked.
He explained that there was a new female guard — she was a novice, and she had not shown him the respect that he as a long-term inmate, “should” receive. As a result, he told me he was planning to kill her that night. He even told me his plan. The next time she came around on her rounds that night, he was going to reach out through the prison bars, and grab her and strangle her.
My jaw dropped as he finished describing his plan. Vivid images flashed through my mind of what he’d done to get locked up here. I had many reasons to believe that he could follow through on his plan to kill the guard, but also a few reasons to believe he might not, based on his fledging spirituality, and the personality I’d seen up to this point.
Now I was seeing a whole different side of him. His eyes were black, staring and intense, and he was clearly focused on taking out his anger on this poor woman.
I asked if he’d be willing to explore the anger?
He said yes.
Using the Core Transformation process conversationally, he started at: “There’s something inside of me that wants to control the world” (images of Hitler came into my mind). Next he went to, “There’s something inside me that wants to get out, to kill the whole world.”
At this point I’m thinking, “Oh my goodness, where is this going to go?” We were sitting in the waiting room, across from each other. Nobody else around us knew what we were doing. Would he flip out? Was I going to be able to continue to work with this at all? I didn’t know.
It was obvious that Erick had a part of himself, like a beast in his chest, that wanted to get out and kill, and I got a very strong sense that he was working hard to suppress it. It was almost as if I could see him thinking, “I’ve killed one person already…”
He and I had a strong enough connection that I wasn’t worried for my own safety. and I trusted the [Core Transformation] process. I believe in positive intentions — that each part of us, no matter how ugly it may seem, has a positive reason for what it’s doing. I focused on that.
Continuing with the process, I asked, “If you had that control, so you could kill the whole world as fully & completely as you want, what would having that get you that would be even more?” I felt my throat go dry asking such a question. I thought to myself, “Guess I’m going all the way with this one.”
But at that moment his entire demeanor changed from that of a person with a powerful part inside him that he couldn’t control, a part he hated & feared, a part that wanted out but needed to be restrained at tremendous cost to himself — to that of a person at peace with himself. His whole body relaxed and a huge sigh of air escaped from between his lips. His face transformed with a grin that seemed to come from the bottom of his heart.
“I will have…. PEACE,” he said. We hung out together in that Core State of PEACE for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a minute or two….
At that point, he had a truly radiant smile that seemed to fill the room. I think it was the highest he’d ever been without drugs. It certainly was for me. It wouldn’t have surprised me at all if Mozart had starting playing as a rainbow appeared in the windowless room. I felt such incredible serenity. And peace. And I could tell he was experiencing it too — that for the first time in his life he recognized that this part of him wanted something positive. It wanted this PEACE. And he didn’t need to kill anyone to have it.
Talking about the experience, we discussed how I had “shared” the states he had gone through in the process. In the beginning I had felt his self repugnance, his fear and loathing, his desire to kill and control. I had also experienced his Core State of PEACE. I had “gone along with him” as he experienced reversing the Outcome chain where the PEACE went through everything. Erick shared with me how, now that he had PEACE as a way of being, he no longer had a part of himself that was evil and wanted out to control and kill the world. He said he would cut the new guard some slack because she was new, and he even said he liked her personality.
He mentioned that now that he thought about it, he saw a lot of qualities in this new guard that he really appreciated. He decided he was going to reach out to her in an effort to commend her for the good things she did, and demonstrate his respect for her.
I walked out of the visiting room that day convinced he was no longer a danger to the guard, himself or society in general. Fifteen years later his excellent spiritual growth & progress has proved that to be true.
Thanks to Mark Andreas for his work in editing the above account. (*The young man’s name has been changed to protect privacy.)
This shows the kind of transformation that is possible in a short period of time, even when dealing with something very intense. Feeling disrespected, as Erick described, is something that has brought many to violence. What would happen if more people had the opportunity to speak with someone like George at that time, and be guided through the steps of Core Transformation? If Erick can experience a transformation so dramatic, with something so intense, what might be possible for the rest of us, no matter our life issues?
Watch a free webinar on Core Transformation including a demonstration here. It’s led by Tamara Andreas, co-author of the book.
If you’d like to learn more, we have a full Core Transformation Training on DVD.
And, if you can, join the live training with Tamara Andreas in Boulder, CO, Feb 28 – Mar 2, 2014. This is the best way to learn!
